


The One Who Sees

by jadelennox



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Angst, Blank Verse, Canon Disabled Character, Disability, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-09-21
Updated: 2003-09-21
Packaged: 2017-10-01 23:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadelennox/pseuds/jadelennox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He stayed. He fell.<br/>I turned too late. The very earth did shake,<br/>As I -- I turned too late. I wasn't there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One Who Sees

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers through BtVS 7.18 ("Dirty Girls").  
> Blank verse, for Blank Verse Blog Week.
> 
> [](http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/us/)  
> This work by jadelennox is licensed under a [Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License](http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/us/).

"The one who sees," he said, and he was right  
But only partly. Yes, he sees the Witch --  
He sees her better than she sees herself,  
Sees better than his friends, he sees the pain  
She's in and danger to them all she holds.  
He sees the niblet in her quiet strength,  
Determination to fill up the space  
The tragedy has landed at her door.  
Of course, he never sees the teenaged lust  
And awe with which she holds him. I saw it when  
It came at me -- but since _that night_, there's been  
No camaraderie between the little bit  
And me. And Xander sees Anyanka's love,  
And Buffy's power and her worrying  
Are naked to his eyes. His eyes. O God!

He hated me -- that's only fair, for in  
Those days I hated him as well. It was  
The breakup with his bit, the rebar, Red,  
More than the years of killing sprees. I thought  
Of suicide, and happily he would  
Have held the stake. In thick of battle, though,  
He -- thoughtless -- saved my life. He gathered up  
My demon arse and hauled it from the fight.  
Mere instinct for the boy. A comrade falls,  
You save him. Just the way things work. But for  
Myself -- for me -- no one had risked herself  
but Dru. Not ever in my undead life  
Has even such a thoughtless gift been mine.  
It lay between us like a brand. It mixed  
unhealthily with hatred (hatred not  
Diminished, but polluted, ill, as if  
His rescue weakened evil and its kin).

To have such vile obligation gone,  
Was all my need. Despite my hate, I saved  
His worthless life and then again. He'd smack  
Me down -- the only Scooby weaker, more  
Pathetic than himself -- and when they came  
To kill the demon magnet boy, I'd pull  
Him from the line of fire. I only sought  
To end his hold on me. But never once  
Did he acknowledge rescue. Never saw.  
Though time and time again, I threw him from  
A demon's path, corruption lessened not  
at all. Persistence isn't usually  
My gig, but I desired healthy spite,  
Unfettered by his adolescent good.  
He never saw. He never set me free.

Until tonight, when Buffy needed me,  
I grabbed her, got her out to safety while  
The children, helpless, stayed to die. He made  
To save that girl of Red's. He stayed. He fell.  
I turned too late. The very earth did shake,  
As I -- I turned too late. I wasn't there.

He lies unconscious now. When he wakes,  
He will still see, despite the ravaged face,  
Those places where his heart does lie. The witch,  
The niblet, Buffy. Maybe Andrew's crush  
At last will be apparent, more than nerds  
Who bond. But any chance to notice Spike  
Was gouged out with that eye. No vision lies  
On me. No chance to justify the ways  
Of Spike to Xan. I'm tied to him, bereft,  
For evermore. He will not see my pain.


End file.
